I was waiting for an Uber last night when suddenly it dawned on me: RUTGERS IS PLAYING WASHINGTON IN THREE DAYS.
Hello! Do you realize what that means?
The start of #RutgersUndefeated!
Face it. Janarion Grant, Heisman frontrunner, is literally going to score like a billion times against LAME Washington.
(Um, have you watched his highlights lately?)
OK, Brook, slow down. For those who aren’t as OBSESSED with Rutgers as I am, here’s a news flash:
Last year’s season opener against Washington was SUPER CLOSE AND EXCITING.
Hello, Rutgers gained more first downs and KILLED Washington in time of possession. LOL!
Um, also? The Scarlet Knights scored 10 UNANSWERED POINTS during an EPIC rally in the fourth quarter.
Didn’t know that? Bro, DO YOU EVEN FOLLOW COLLEGE FOOTBALL.
OK, so Rutgers’ comeback was UNFAIRLY snuffed out, but not before the Scarlet Knights pulled to within five scores.
OMG, Chris Ash has literally not stopped thinking about that game ever since!
This year, expect Rutgers to get sweet revenge on the Huskies.
Why? Well, ever since Kyle Bolin was announced as starter, I’ve started to get this weirdly confident feeling.
Like, who transfers to a school and is immediately named a team captain? A CHAMP.
Someone tattoo *Winner* on Kyle’s inner bicep! (So hot!)
Speaking of hot, the name on everyone’s lips is running back GUS EDWARDS, another transfer who shot to the top of the depth chart…
LOL at my fantasy league for letting him fall to me at the tenth pick!
I can’t even BEGIN to describe how excited I was to take Gus and Janarion Grant at ten and eleven. SUCKERS.
Ask my girlfriends, they’ll tell you how NERVOUS I was that someone would take Kyle Bolin before I could SNATCH HIM UP in round three!
But everything worked out for the best — like it always does! — and my fantasy roster is now SUPER-DUPER SCARLET.
I feel like Gus Edwards is going to have a 1000-yard game against the Huskies, idk.
Did you even watch Washington lose in the playoffs? Rutgers NEVER would have done that!
Also, Jake Browning, congratulations on your Heisman. Whoops, I mean…
Finally, I don’t want to jinx it, but I think Dacoven Bailey might be the sleeper pick of the year.
Who, you say? LOVE IT.
You’ll find out!
SO WILL WASHINGTON.
I just wish that THIS year could have been my senior year and not last…
But, NO REGRETS.
OK, love you all for reading, thanks for pulling for your LOCAL Big Ten team NYC~