Things Greg Schiano Has Turned Down

An Eleven Warriors report by former Purdue coach Danny Hope quotes Urban Meyer as saying that Ohio State DC Greg Schiano has turned down two “significant” head coaching offers this offseason.

You’re fucking right he has. Greg Schiano is an infamous hardass who doesn’t want or need anything from anyone. Got it? His name isn’t Greg Schiayes. He’s never met an offer he didn’t want to turn down. Nothing makes him feel more powerful than rejecting people. He’d tell a genie to fuck off.

Schiano’s declinations were legendary at Ramapo High, where he turned down everything from answers to the organic chem homework to Wang Chung tickets right after Dance Hall Days came out. He was definitely the only guy at Ramapo to turn down a blowjob from Cammie Bianchi. He even turned down his parents when they gave him a car on his 16th birthday. Said he’d rather run, with weights, to toughen up.

Schiano relishes turning down offers so much that he applied to over 30 colleges when he was 18, just so he could reject their admission offers, Rutgers’ included. He ended up attending Bucknell in the mid-Eighties and rushing Phi Gamma Delta, where cocaine use was rampant. But Schiano always turned that shit down, considered it a crutch. At 20, in 1986, he was way ahead of the game when Nancy Reagan launched her Just Say No campaign.

Schiano majored in business administration at Bucknell, but turned down the corporate world to follow his love of football. As he worked his way up the coaching ranks, he met his future wife Christy. He’ll never forget that first night when he turned down the dimmer switch, turned down fellatio, and instead, like a gentlemen, turned down on her. Years later, Christy having just given birth to their son Joey, Schiano turned down the doctor’s offer to hold his newborn boy, saying it would make the kid soft, and that if he wanted a girl–or a placekicker–he would have adopted one.

Schiano was a defensive backs coach at Penn State from 1991 to 1995, a young member of Jerry Sandusky’s staff. Ask him about his time there and he’ll turn down the opportunity to speak about it.

After serving as Miami’s DC, he took the Rutgers job in 2001, he did not accept it. Called up Rutgers and told them he was on his way. They acquiesced, of course. You don’t turn down an alpha man like Greg Schiano.

While singlehandedly pulling Rutgers towards relevance, he turned down numerous better head coaching jobs. After an 11-2 2006 season in which Rutgers finished ranked 12th, their highest ever, Greg Schiano was awarded and turned down the Walter Camp Coach of the Year, the Home Depot Coach of the Year, the Liberty Mutual Coach of the Year, the Eddie Robinson Coach of the Year, and the Big East Coach of the Year.

In 2012, Schiano turned down a contract extension from Rutgers and informed the Tampa Bay Buccaneers that he was their new coach. His tenure did not go well. Unfortunately, Schiano turned down a lot of good advice from other coaches who’ve tried to make the leap, like Steve Spurrier and Nick Saban. He thought he knew best, but he took a turn down the wrong path trying to bring his autocratic college schtick to the pros. His players hated him because he was always pulling power trip bullshit like turning down the music in the locker room.

In week 2 of the 2013 NFL season, Schiano infamously turned down a defeat with dignity when he ordered his players to jump the line of scrimmage and go after Eli Manning on a final play kneel down.

Schiano’s life took a downturn when was fired by the Bucs at the end of 2013. Unemployed, he spent even less time at home, turning down his family. With all that free time, he rented an office and wrote a thriller about a special teams coach-turned assassin under the pen name D. Klein. He was offered a book deal by HarperCollins, but chose to self-publish.

After being run out of the NFL and spending two long years out of coaching, Greg Schiano sure as hell didn’t turn down Urban Meyer’s offer to be his defensive coordinator at Ohio State. And he’s done quite well in that position, albeit with some off the field incidents. At 6:50 on the morning of September 22, 2016, near Ohio State’s practice facility, Greg Schiano turned his vehicle down Fred Taylor Drive from West Lane Avenue, striking a 26 year old male student on a bike, who was taken to Wexner Medical Center in stable condition. Schiano turned down the chance to speak with his victim, saying he’d already done the kid enough favors.

And this summer, he apparently turned down more jobs. No surprise. That’s who Greg Schiano is and will always be. A no-man. But not just any no-man. No. Let us not forget Schiano’s greatest turn down of all, the defining moment of his life, the rejection that established him as one of the great no-men of our time. This is the guy who, in December 2007, as the head coach of Rutgers, was offered the fucking Michigan job. You know the rest. What a legend.

Greg Schiano turned down repeated requests to be interviewed for this piece.

Image via Fayjo / CC BY 2.0