Recently, certain outlets have claimed to give the full account of what Nebraska head coach Mike Riley said after the Cornhuskers’ practice Wednesday.
But after digging deeper and reviewing our own intel, we discovered a number of remarks Riley made that were not published in the official record. Below is the complete register of Mike Riley’s remarks after practice Wednesday.
“We’ve already been through this. I’m Mike Riley. THE HEAD COACH?”
“Wait, I have a coupon.”
“Dewdy do, dew dew, dew diddly ew. [Whistles].”
“Oh no. Oh jesus no. No. NOOOOOO.”
“I’ll have a number four, no onions.”
“That’s a bad dog, Bolt. Bad. See what you did?”
“Hmm, where’d I put the number to Oregon State’s athletic office?”
“[sings] Baby you’re a fiiiire-work.”
“Your hair looks fine, honey, we gotta go.”
“Is this hell?”
“Let’s do lunch.”