Biff Bluff

Biff Bluff is a B1G buff. Raised in Minnesota, he went to Michigan, where his first game was Appalachian State in 2007. That trauma, the ensuing decade of disappointment, Rutgers, and Jim Delany’s relentless villainy would compel lesser men to find better hobbies, but Biff’s fandom has survived, nourished by the joy of Notre Dame being even worse. When the Gophers and Wolverines play for the title and Biff dies a happy man, you can bury him in the Big Ten West.

Ira Klement

After his academic scholarship to Michigan was pulled, Ira Klement attended Ipecac State University, majoring in contemporary American paranoia. He lives in Denials, OH.

Petya Lunt

Petya was born to a Michigander and a Hoosier at a Northwestern University hospital and has been irritated that it wasn’t at the University of Michigan’s superior obstetrics practice ever since. He was weaned on the Lloyd Carr years, but Petya’s own time at Michigan was three parts Rich Rod and one part Hoke. He lives in Washington, DC, the ingrown toenail of the Big Ten footprint.


Other Contributors


Brook Bikelyn

Brook is a Rutgers alum and HUGE JANARION GRANT FAN (LOL!). A former columnist for The Daily Targum, Brook’s weekly column, On the Brook, was a runner-up for a Mark of Excellence from the Society of Professional Journalists. Originally from Hoboken, Brook, duh, lives in Greenpoint.

Brio Balakrishnan

Brio is a writer based in Washington DC. She has as much interest in Big Ten football as the University of Chicago, her alma mater, but enlisted as The Fake Punt’s tech lead because she loves and pities The Editors and supports acts of voluntary virtual vivification.

Erma Gerd

Erma Gerd is a B1G nerd whose Gophers fanaticism runs absurd. Ski-u-mama was her first word, and she wants to marry Marion Barber III. She’s an invaluable editorial intern.

Lily Gilding

Lily is The Fake Punt’s ambivalent photoshop coach. She abhors the “wasteful and ridiculous excess” of college football, but admits it allowed her to attend Ohio State on a field hockey scholarship.

You, maybe? Email to inquire about contributing.